I am thinking of the richness that friends bring to different stages of our lives. We have our school friends. Our young adulting friends. The friendships we acquire through our partners. Mothers group friends. Work friends. Friends we make while going through the same thing - grief, loss, illness. Some are around for the long haul, but most wax and wane with the seasons of our life. Some have a bigger impact than others.
And even though I know that life is fleeting, when one of those friends goes too early, it hits like a body blow. The photos make me laugh through tears at all our shared experiences. Even though we haven't been in touch for a couple of years, it feels like yesterday. I can smell the campfire and hear the ocean and feel the sand beneath my feet.
I remember the lessons she gave me and all the kids about abalone, and anything from the sea, from the earth. She was insatiably curious and moved at lightning speed from one thing to another.
When I think about my friend, I realise how she was everywhere for everyone else. All of the time. You couldn't keep up with where she was, driving up and down the coast in a cloud of red dust, always, always lending a hand. She had the biggest heart, and what is breaking mine now is wondering - where were we? Who was tending to her? I don't recall specific things I did for her, but I have a long list of all the things she did for me.
I know there are no easy answers. I think we need to be asking each other, especially those who we think don't need it - what can I do for you? How can I help you? How can I be here for you, in a way that will make you feel better? That will help you to be okay, for this day?
Hug everyone you know so hard. Let people know you are thinking about them - even if it has been years since you have spoken. Who knows, it might be just what they need in this moment.
With love,
Amanda xxx
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